Its funny

Whenever someone meets me the first thing they say is
"Oh you seem like such a happy go lucky person"
And it makes me laugh
Because they don’t even know what I go through everyday
Just to stay alive
How I feel so much pain everyday that its all I can do to make myself stop crying.
How the cuts multiply on my body
Just because no one see’s them on my wrist
Doesn’t mean they aren’t there
The constant pressure to be perfect for my family
To meet every standard they hold for me
Sometimes I lay down at night and think
I just hope I don’t wake up tomorrow
And honestly I get to that point alot
I cry more than I smile
I feel alone even when i’m with people
And I don’t trust because all i’ve ever known is betrayal.
The pills that dissapeared last week?
That was me.
The whole bottle in one night.
I tell people I’m an insomniac
That I never really sleep
But they don’t know the reason why
That all the demons and pain hanging on my back
They never let me close my eyes
Sometime I wish I could just give up
Like I could just look in the mirror and take that one more pill
That would push me over the edge.
But i’m even too much of a coward to do that.
There must be something wrong with me right?
I mean that’s what my parents say.
So what is it that’s wrong with me..
How do you fix something this broken
Or this far gone..